


Fallen

by deweydrops



Series: A Sorta Fairytale [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Communication Issues, Depression, F/M, Fertility Issues, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mild Sexual Content, Miscarriage, Odin's A+ Parenting, Pre-Thor (2011), Pre-coronation, Pregnancy, Prophetic Visions, Starts sad, Tragedy, ends sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-10
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2019-07-28 21:16:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16249964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deweydrops/pseuds/deweydrops
Summary: Just as Loki and Sigyn settle into married life, their fairy-tale ending is torn apart by loss, jealousy, and family secrets. Set right before and during the events of the first Thor movie.





	1. Chapter 1

_Prelude_

 

Loki's eyes opened with a start and furrowed his brow. The palace was silent in the late hour, yet something in the quiet unsettled him, rousing him from slumber. He blinked the sleep from his eyes as he tried to suss out the cause of his concern.

A _presence_ had entered the bedchamber. Loki's eyes surveyed their surroundings, but detected nothing visible save for Sigyn curled beside him in the bed. He summoned a small ball of magic, hoping to detect whatever entity had disturbed him.

Loki was not a trusting soul, and kept his chambers well-fortified with protection and defensive spells and a force-field in case an enemy should think to attack while he and Sigyn were at their most vulnerable. As he cast about his detection spell, he realized the this third presence, whatever its nature, had not only breached every one of his defenses; it was now alarmingly close to his wife.

He glanced down to see Sigyn's eyes open, questioning him. By now she, too, sensed the strange presence in their midst and her eyes widened. Slowly, she reached out her hand to his, adding her magic to the detection spell. Their combined power guided them to the source of the presence. Their hands tensed as the magic revealed that this entity was not just very, very close to Sigyn, but rather _inside_ her.

Sigyn gripped the bedsheet with her free hand, her breathing taut at the prospect of being possessed. The magic lead their joined hands down the length of her body, at last stopped just below her abdomen. Just barely perceptible, a mere speck, really, but they could sense it. A new energy, connected to Sigyn, yet unique. Cool against her warmth. A blue flash amidst her gold.

“Oh?” Sigyn whispered, staring at the source of the pretense they'd detected. Her eyebrows raised as she realized the entity's true nature. “Oh!”

Their eyes met in the darkness as Loki's tension gave way to relief, and finally elation at the discovery. Loki laughed, pulling Sigyn into his arms as Sigyn cupped her with her hands, already hoping to keep their newcomer safe.

“Well hello, little one,” she said softly to her belly. “You gave us quite a shock.”

Loki clasped his hand over hers, once more sensing the small presence they'd created. A tear slid from his cheek as he kissed Sigyn. Barely a moment had passed since the discovery and an overwhelming love had already taken deep root within Loki for their unborn child.

 _By the Norns I hope I am good enough,_ Loki thought. Right now he held the most precious beings in the nine realms right in his arms, and suddenly felt hopelessly undeserving of either of them.

“Oh, Loki,” Sigyn said now, as if reading his thoughts. She brushed a few stray strands of hair from his eyes. “I cannot think of a better father for our child than you.”

*

The next morning, they shared their news with Odin and Frigga. The queen was delighted, as Sigyn expected. The Allfather's response was far more reserved, almost somber. Sigyn had hoped for a more enthusiastic response from the king, and she knew his stoic reaction wounded Loki. It was clear the king expected that Loki continue the line of succession. Now that they'd done so, Loki had hoped for some sign of approval. Once again, he'd been disappointed.

Just before the evening meal, the Allfather made the official announcement before the court to much fanfare. Sigyn could not ignore her apprehension at sharing her good tidings so soon. In the village where she grew up, it was customary for an expectant mother to only share with her immediate family once she knew she was with child. Announcements before the rest of the village waited until her belly began to swell, when the danger of losing the pregnancy was greatly reduced.

“Sister!” Thor boomed, rushing over to Sigyn as soon as he'd heard the news. “Congratulations!” His warm bear hug lifted her off her feet. “This is excellent news.”

“Thank you, brother,” Loki replied as Thor set Sigyn back down. Thor turned to his brother and clapped him on the shoulder. It seemed Odin's coldness was forgotten in light of Thor's boisterous joy.

“About time, too,” Volstagg said as he helped himself to a cask of ale. “Been far too long since we've had a little one to liven up these halls.”

“Glad to see the joys of married life have born fruit at last, eh Loki?” Fandral nudged Loki's side as he passed by with a maiden on each arm. “Perhaps even I might be persuaded to make such a commitment one day. For a special lady, of course.” The maidens giggled as Fandral lead them away.

Sif rolled her eyes while Hogun offered his congratulations in the form of a quick nod. “Only Fandral could take something as hallowed as the birth of a new heir and use it as a means to woo more maidens.”

Once the last of the court was seated, Frigga stood before the court, a goblet of wine in her hand. “To our new heir!”

As the court raised their goblets in celebration, Loki squeezed Sigyn's hand beneath the table. For once, the adoring gazes of Asgard's nobility were centered on her and Loki, and she knew how much the positivity meant to him. Even if the good graces had more to do with their unborn child than him, he'd take what he could get. For her part, Sigyn couldn't help but enjoy the new-found sense of belonging she felt in light of the news.

*

Sigyn scoured the great library for resources on pregnancy and childbirth, having no mother figure of her own still alive to guide her. Yet the collected texts focused almost exclusively on the intricate matters of succession, lineage, hierarchies of titles, exhaustive lists of duties and who was to inherit what. A valuable guide for kings once an heir is born, perhaps, but they did Sigyn little good. She'd hoped to learn how to care for said heirs so that they grew into kind, happy adults. Such an oversight was to be expected in a collection curated by old noble men for other old noble men, Sigyn mused, and made a note to do better as the new curator.

Instead, she consulted Runa's old journals for guidance. Runa had assisted in many a delivery in their old village, and kept detailed notes of her spells, travels, and observations. Here she found more insight, though the pages reiterated the heartache to come should one become too hopeful too soon.

Still, it was hard not to get swept up in the well-wishes and excitement over a potential new heir for the line of succession. A bevy of handmaidens attended to her every need despite her protests, and seeing the court's new-found warmth towards Loki lifted her spirits further. She'd hoped the warmth would extend into the respect he'd deserved, but for now she enjoyed the excitement their fortune brought the palace.

*

“My darling,” Loki remarked one night as they lay in their bedchamber, barely a fortnight after they'd announced Sigyn's pregnancy, “If my estimations are correct, you'll be due right around Thor's coronation.”

Sigyn peered up from the book she'd been reading. “Indeed, my prince. Eir predicts our child will be born within a day or two of the coronation.”

“Or _during_ ,” Loki chuckled. “Wouldn't that be a surprise.”

“You'd not have me in labor before the entire court!” Sigyn giggled, playfully swatting him with her book.

“I don't believe that's up to me, love.” Loki leaned over and rested his hand on her lap. “I think our heir-to-be shall choose the time of arrival.” He leaned in closer to her belly, as though addressing their unborn child. “And remember, little one, you are _royalty._ You want to make a _grand_ entrance.”

“You are also _kind_ and _considerate_ and do not wish to spend your first breaths stealing your uncle's moment of triumph. To say nothing of distressing your poor mother,” Sigyn said to her belly before leaning back onto the pillows, her gentle laugh filling the air like music. “Although I would love to see the look on your brother's face should his big day be upstaged an infant.”

“Then we'll know who our infant takes after, I suppose,” Loki grinned, wrapping Sigyn in his arms.

Sigyn gazed up at him. “You know, it is said that the mother's mood at the time of conception may determine the child's natural disposition.”

“Is that so?” Loki asked, nuzzling the bridge of her nose. “And have you any insight into what our heir's natural disposition might be?”

“A mirthful one, of course,” Sigyn replied. “Given how you've managed to make me laugh even in throes of passion.”

“I'm sure Asgard expects no less from the child of the mischievous second prince,” Loki smiled before kissing her goodnight. For the first time since Thor's ascent to the throne was announced, he'd felt something other than resentment and dread as the day drew closer.

 

Her first scream woke him.

His eyes flew open as the screaming continued, sending a wave of shock though his heart. He summoned the bedchamber lights as he sat up, looking over to her side of the bed.

Sigyn lay across from him, her body curled around her stomach. She quivered, gasping in pain, her face gone white.

“Sigyn? Sigyn!” Loki asked, his voice breaking as he reached over to her. “What's wrong?”

It hurts...it... _hurts,_ ” was all she could manage between sobs.

“Wh-what hurts?” Loki asked, panic rising as he placed his hand against her side, coaxing her into facing him. She shivered under his grasp, her body unnaturally cold despite the heavy bed covers. He pushed the sheets back, revealing her convulsing figure. Her hand clutched at her lower abdomen as she whimpered.

It was then he saw the blood pooling between her legs.

Sigyn saw the look of horror on his face, and glanced down. “Oh, oh _no_ ,” she wailed, her hand flying up to her mouth. “ _No!”_

“Guards!” Loki called, hoping the night guards on duty would hear from the bedchamber. “Please, fetch Eir!”

 

Frigga arrived not long after the guards had sent for Eir. The rush of activity within the silent halls no doubt alerting the queen to the disturbance. Now she stood with Loki in the antechamber as Eir and two of her assistants tending to Sigyn in the bedchamber. Loki kept his eyes on the bedchamber door, waiting for some sign of what went wrong. Hoping, by some slim chance, that both Sigyn and their unborn child were fine. And yet he knew once Eir emerged his hope would come crashing down. He could even see it in his mother's eyes that the situation was dire, though she tried her best to soothe him.

“Eir is the finest healer in Asgard,” Frigga said now. “Sigyn is in good hands.”

“And what of our child?” Loki asked, his fingers scratching at his wrist on his opposite hand. “What hope is there?”

At this, Frigga had no response.

Just then, the bedchamber door opened. Frigga and Loki watched as Eir emerged, a grief-stricken look on her face. She didn't even need to open her mouth. Loki's heart had already shattered.

“Your majesties, I am so sorry,” Eir began, her eyes downcast. “The princess has miscarried. There was nothing we could have done.”

Loki closed his eyes. He felt his mother's gentle hand grasp his arm, but it was little comfort- a mere bandage loosely applied to a gaping wound. The pit of his gut in free fall, he struggled to regain his breathing. His child. Gone. Just like that.

Frigga and Eir spoke more, but he was deaf to their words. They could have been realms away, for all he knew or cared.

“...and my wife?” he managed after a long moment.

“We must examine her further before we know of any lasting physical effects,” Eir replied. “Though her suffering is great.”

At that point, Loki became aware of the weeping from within the bedchamber. The sound he rarely heard, yet wrenched his heart each time he did.

He could see her from the slightly open door into the bedchamber. Sigyn remained on their bed, huddled beneath the bloodstained sheet, her eyes red from tears. She glanced up at him, a fresh wave of anguish crossed her face as she wept once more. Eir's two healers stood nearby, offering in vain what little consolations they could muster. 

Their eyes met, and the raw agony on her face, matching his own that he desperately wished to hide, proved too much for him. He turned, and strode out of their chambers and into the hall, no particular destination in mind. 

He heard her crying out his name but could not bring himself to turn back. 

 

A week passed. The fanfare of the court gave way to grave condolences that Loki bore as best he could while Eir and her healers examined Sigyn further. No traces of poison or curses were detected in her or in any of the objects she'd touched. So far as the healers could determine, it was a stroke of awful luck, nothing more.

Loki found little comfort in the news as he endured the pitying looks of the court. Breaking the news to his father had been the hardest burden, though when he went to tell him, he found the Allfather already knew. He supposed his mother had informed him already, but nonetheless standing before his father's steely gaze only added to his sense of failure.

“Father, I am sorry,” Loki found himself saying in the throne room as the two spoke alone, a rare occasion. “I have failed to produce an heir for the throne.” He knew his father's primary expectation for the younger prince- produce heirs to further their lineage. He'd hoped to fulfill his duty as quickly as possible, yet so far they'd only found trouble. And now to have their moment of joy snatched away so quickly. The sense of profound shame filled Loki as he surveyed the grandeur and gold secured by his ancestors, who were doubtless disappointed by him.

But the Allfather bore no such disappointment in his expression. Indeed, he bore no expression at all.

“So I am told,” Odin said now. “And the girl, she has recovered?”

 _Sigyn_ , Loki thought. _Her name is Sigyn, damn it, and she is my wife!_ “Her body, yes,” Loki began, “But still she suffers and I know not how to-”

“Then you may impregnate her again,” Odin said, ignoring Loki's concerns. “See to it that you do.”

With that, he departed, leaving Loki standing alone in the throne room, feeling so small compared to the grandeur of gold and statues that seemed to mock his inadequacies as a husband and prince.

Sigyn rarely left her spot on the bed, still clutching the bloodstained sheet, refusing to let the maids take it away. Her eyes lifeless, her voice ragged from hours of sobbing. She would not eat, would not leave the bedchamber, would not even allow anyone to touch her. He'd informed her there were no signs of foul play, but as he expected, it did little good.

He'd requested that Eir send Ailee to attend to Sigyn. Ailee was the newest healer, and though she was inexperienced, he knew she and Sigyn were friends and hoped a familiar face might bring her comfort. Yet for all Ailee's reassurances, Sigyn seemed almost unaware anyone was present, so lost she was in her grief.

He'd sent for Idunn not long after, hoping her sister could at least coax Sigyn away from her spot on the bed. The carriage arrived from Bravellir early one morning. Loki met Idunn at the palace entrance and lead her to the chambers.

“I came as soon as I heard,” Idunn said now. “My heart breaks for her. How is she faring?”

“Not well,” Loki replied. “I've never seen her so empty, so listless. She won't even leave our bed. I'd hoped by seeing you might brighten her spirits.”

“I will see what I can do,” said Idunn as she followed the prince. “We had such little time with our mother growing up. My own memories of her are scant. I very much doubt Sigyn remembers her at all. We had no one to guide us in such matters. I suppose it's little wonder she'd be unaware how common such losses are.”

Loki paused. “Common?”

“Why, yes,” Idunn bowed her head. “Forgive me, my prince. I do not mean to make light of your loss, as I know how much it pains you. Only that where my sister and I come from, a new pregnancy is treated with far more caution than I imagine it is here. Why, the expecting families dare not even make an announcement until at least three months have passed without issue.”

“I see,” Loki replied as they continued. Indeed, he'd heard commoners tended to regard glad tidings with a certain amount of reservation, though he'd attributed this to long-held superstitions. He'd never suspected a commoner, with access to far fewer resources than those afforded to the nobles, might have good reason to be cautious.

By now they'd entered Loki's chambers. Idunn followed as Loki slowly opened the door to the bedchamber. Sigyn remained huddled on the bed, clutching the sheet, while Ailee and a servant tried in vain to serve her the morning meal.

“Princess, you must eat,” Ailee implored while the servant proffered a plate of honeyed pears. “It will help restore your health.”

Sigyn stared down at the sheet, her eyes bloodshot and cheeks ruddy and tear-streaked. In the morning light Loki could see how pale she'd turned, how thin she'd become, how fragile she looked alone on their large bed.

Ailee and the servant straightened at the sight of Loki. “My prince,” Ailee bowed. “I did not expect you back so soon.”

“How is she?” Loki asked, though he already knew. Sigyn had not moved, indeed, did not take notice of her visitors at all.

“Refusing to eat, as she has all week,” Ailee replied.

Idunn stepped forward. “Sigyn? It's me. I've come to see you.”

At this, Sigyn looked up from her bedsheet, meeting her sister's eyes briefly before casting them down once more.

“You're her sister?” Ailee asked.

“I am.” Idunn tentatively walked toward the bed.

“Tell her she needs to eat.”

“You do need to eat,” Idunn implored, lightly placing her hand on Sigyn's shoulder.

“I don't need to eat,” Sigyn's first words in some time came out as little more than a whisper.

“Please. It will make you feel better,” Ailee added as the servant once again held the honeyed pears before her.

“I don't _want_ to feel better!” Sigyn cried suddenly, smacking the plate away. The pears flew into the air briefly before landing on the floor. Sigyn's trembling hand hung in the air for a moment before she curled against the sheet once more, leaving Ailee and Idunn speechless while the servant scrambled to clean up the fallen pears.

Loki stared at the scene before him for a long moment before silently leaving the room. This was so unlike Sigyn, his strong, sweet, clever wife. It was as though whatever force had seen fit to take away their child had taken her with it, leaving a shell of an imposter in her place. And he was utterly helpless to get her back.

*

Idunn sent the healer and servant away, distressed by the overwhelming grief that had taken over her sister. Sigyn was silent once more, inconsolable wrapped in her bloodied sheet.

“Papa was delighted when he'd heard you were with child,” Idunn tried once more. “Though he insisted he is still far too youthful in spirit to pass for a grandfather.” She laughed for a moment. “He is distraught now, though, that he cannot be here too.”

Sigyn took a deep breath, though she still did not meet Idunn's eyes. “Are...are you here to take me home?"

Idunn paused. "No. Prince Loki sent for me to comfort you."

"Perhaps you are to keep me company while my belongings are gathered."

Idunn patted her sister's shoulder. "Why are you so convinced you are being sent away? Prince Loki worries for you."

“You think I cannot sense his displeasure?” Sigyn sat up. “I can barely meet his eyes, the only person in the nine realms who understands my heartache.”

Idunn rubbed Sigyn's shoulder. She did not know the prince well, it was true, yet surely he could not blame Sigyn for the loss. It occurred to her now just how much pressure her sister had been under, with expectations of a royal to continue the line of succession for all of Asgard. To live under the unyielding gaze of the court, of the Allfather in particular, could not have been easy, no matter how much she loved the prince. Little wonder that she'd been blindsided by the loss.

*

Loki waited in his study until he heard the bedchamber door open and close. He swiftly left the study, finding Idunn in the antechamber.

“Well?”

Idunn turned to face the prince. “I might as well head back to Bravellir,” she said, picking up the small bag of belongings she'd brought with her. “Though I am quite famished.”

Loki froze. “What do you mean? She found no solace even with you?” He ran a hand over his face. “What am I to do now?”

“I am not the one she needs solace from,” Idunn replied. “She needs _you.”_

Loki blinked. “Me? But I am not educated these matters.”

Idunn set down her bag. “My prince, forgive me, but it is not about education. Sigyn feels she has let you down and fears you wish to be rid of her.”

“I never said that!” Loki protested. “I never even _thought_ it.”

“Perhaps not,” Idunn replied. “But it is no secret expectations have been high for both of you. Tell me, have you shared your grief with her?”

Loki scratched at his thumb, taking a breath before answering. “Of course not. I did not wish to upset her further.” The words struck him as absurd as they left his tongue, though the truth was more complicated. He'd feared it was she who blamed him for the loss, and he dreaded seeing the accusatory look in her eyes should she direct her grief the source.

“My prince, I confess I am not well-versed in the ways of royal protocols, and perhaps keeping to one's self is considered proper here in the palace, but Sigyn is a village girl at heart. We cope with loss together so that we can persevere. She needs you, her husband, to talk to her.”

Idunn gestured towards the bedchamber door. Loki stared for a moment, regretting the time he'd spent avoiding being alone with her. He collected himself and pushed open the door.

Sigyn glanced up at Loki. Seeing her heartbroken eyes only reminded him of his own shame. Frost Giants, thieves, bandits, Fire Giants, rock trolls...all these and more he could protect her from, and had sworn to do so when they'd wed. Yet he could not protect her from her own grief.

He sat on the edge of the bed, watching her. She looked away, her fingers gliding along the sheet. He reached out his hand, gradually clasping his over hers.

She drew her gaze towards him, meeting his eyes at last. Here he found none of the spite, the anger he'd convinced himself she felt towards him, only deep sorrow.

They sat in silence for a long while, Loki unsure how to express his sorrow, and Sigyn uncertain what he intended to tell her now.

Finally, one single word escaped Sigyn's lips, so soft Loki wasn't sure he'd heard anything at all at first.

“Eostre.”

Loki furrowed his brow, unsure why she'd uttered the name of springtime festival. “What?”

“It is what I would have liked to have named her, if we'd had a girl,” Sigyn whispered. “After my favorite time of year. I was thinking...at the time...it would be like a renewal. A new beginning. For us. For Asgard.”

Loki smiled, though a tear ran down his cheek. “It would make a lovely name.”

Sigyn shook her head. “That's why this happened, wasn't it? I got too hopeful-” Her voice broke into sobs before she could finish. “It was my doing! I am so sorry, my prince.”

“No, my sweet,” Loki replied, caressing her arm. “You did nothing wrong.” He slid his fingers beneath her chin, tilting her face upwards as he stroked the tears off her cheeks with his thumb.

“It is I who am sorry. For leaving you to suffer alone,” Loki went on. He took a long, deep breath. “I could hardly bear my own shame, let alone yours.”

“Your shame?” Sigyn breathed as she regained her composure. “Loki, you've nothing to be ashamed of. I know how much you want an heir, your father's approval, the respect of the court...” she shook her head. “You came so close, and I cost you everything.”

“You _are_ my everything, Sigyn,” Loki countered, pulling her closer. “The court be damned, _you_ are what matters.”

Sigyn ran a hand through her hair, as at long last a smile reached her lips. Her hand eased its grip on the ruined sheet, and it slid aside as she relinquished it at last in favor of Loki's embrace.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coronation day is upon Asgard, but Sigyn can't ignore her sense of dread.

Loki ran his fingers over the Jotunheim atlas he'd taken from the great library. There were numerous atlases of all the nine realms, but only the great library held the ones with the most detail. Now he poured over the intricate etchings and depictions of the frozen landscape, analyzing each crevice until he could conjure the layout with his eyes closed.

Tomorrow Thor would be crowned king, despite all Loki's efforts to prove his brother had not yet earned his moment of triumph. Thor remained hot-tempered and battle-hungry, having forgotten most of the lessons of diplomacy and leadership from their youth. Their father was nevertheless determined to put Thor on the throne. His fears for Asgard's ruin now seemed inevitable.

Yet, Loki reasoned, until the final tap of Gungnir, anything could happen. It was just a matter of finding something to happen.

The sound of footsteps in the antechamber pulled Loki from his meticulous planning. He stashed away the atlas beneath the long table and exited his private study.

“Sigyn” Loki called as he strode into the antechamber. “I did not expect you back so soon, my sweet.”

He found her seated in front of the mirror beside their bath, unwinding her hair from the long plait she wore over her shoulder and shaking her curls loose. The red-blonde spirals fell past her waist like silk ribbons. “I would have stopped by the great library on my way back,” she began as he walked up behind her. “But I was eager to return to you.” She turned to face him now, and there was a lightness in her eyes he hadn't seen since...

“And why so eager to return to me, darling?” he asked, cupping her chin with his fingers as she looked up at him. There was no tension in her shoulders when he touched her, a welcome change after the last few months.

“Well I met with Eir once more after the rehearsal.”

Loki smirked. “Ah, I'd wondered where you'd gone off to.”

“One last check,” she explained. “Just to make sure.”

“Of course,” Loki replied, pulling her closer, enjoying how relaxed she felt in his arms. “And what did Eir have to say?”

“That there is no reason to lose hope,” she smiled. “And we may try again as soon as we wish.”

A small ray of hope bloomed inside Loki for the first time in ages. He'd expected the last few days would be particularly hard on Sigyn. Had she not miscarried, they would have been new parents by now, if not very soon. She'd taken the loss especially hard, blaming herself and fearful of being touched, not appearing at court for months in the aftermath. Gradually she'd worked past her grief, returning first to her duties at the great library, then appearing at court here and there. Yet Sigyn's true feelings always lay right at the surface, and her sense of loss was palpable to even the most unobservant despite her best efforts to carry on. Often he'd wake late at night to the sound of her weeping, though she'd never admit it the next morning. And for all her progress, they hadn't been intimate again, as she still seemed skittish at the thought of trying.

Now, it seemed, she'd fully returned to him at last.

“Oh? And when would you like to try again, darling?” he asked, sliding her shawl off her shoulders.

“Anytime we like, my prince,” Sigyn replied, running her hands along his shoulders. “Although I was thinking, since tomorrow will be all about Thor, we ought to make tonight all about you.”

Loki grinned as his lips met hers. “I like this plan.”

“I had an inkling you would,” Sigyn said, taking his hand in hers. She lead him over to the bath, which Loki could now see she'd already drawn, with steam rising from the hot water. She'd added the currant and vanilla scented cleanser to the bath, the kind she used when she was feeling particularly amorous. The sweet aroma both soothed and excited him.

“Why don't we start with a ceremony of our own,” Sigyn whispered, her fingers curling around the ends of Loki's hair as she pulled him into another kiss. With her free hand she tugged at his armor, sending the first few pieces clinking onto the ground.

Loki circled his arm around her waist, pulling her close, savoring how damn _good_ she felt in his arms once again.

“Yes?” He asked, tracing her cheekbone with his thumb.

She looked up at him, nodding without hesitation. “Yes.”

He slipped the straps of her dress from her shoulders, loosening the garment until it fell by her feet as she guided him into the bath. The tension melted from his back and shoulders as the warmth enveloped him, with Sigyn's gentle hands running up and down his chest. He breathed in deep, allowing Sigyn to take him in her arms, tilting his head back as she soaked his hair.

“Sigyn...” he murmured, closing his eyes at the sensation of her fingers massaging his scalp. “I've _missed_ you.”

Her fingers paused. Loki opened his eyes to find her looking down at him, her warm aquamarine eyes shimmering from the water's reflection, her skin illuminated by the fires warming the chamber. His wife. His Sigyn. “I know, my prince,” she replied softly. “I'm here.”

Later, as they lay in bed, Sigyn dozing in his arms with a contented smile on her lips, Loki thought again of Thor's ascent to the throne, now with a sense of urgency. Despite the whispers among the court, he had no desire to see himself on the throne, only to prove that he could, that he too had learned his father's lessons, could apply them better than Thor could. Yet his need to stop the coronation went beyond jealousy, beyond his own bitterness. He feared Thor's arrogance could lead to Asgard's ruin.

He could not let that happen. He could not lose the one source of happiness he'd found, the most precious creature in the nine realms, and what he had with her.

 _I must protect this woman_ Loki thought. _I cannot lose her._

*

“Damn.”

Sigyn's eyes opened to the resigned curse that escaped Loki's lips. She shifted beneath the heavy covers, his arms still wrapped around her.

Servants wrapped on their antechamber doors, and already the din of crowds gathered outside echoed through the window. The day had arrived, when Thor would ascend to the throne. In just a few hours' time, Asgard would have a new king.

Sigyn reached over and stroked the soft waves of Loki's hair. “No more pretending it's not happening, I suppose,” she whispered. She sat up on their bed, the dark green sheets shifting around her. She leaned down and brushed her lips against his, coaxing his eyes open. “It'll be alright. Let's be up before that door bursts open.”

“As prince of Asgard I decree that door shall remain closed until I deign to open it,” Loki murmured, his arm snaking up her bare back. “And we're not quite finished here, darling.”

“I thought I'd left you well and truly satisfied last night,” Sigyn replied, biting back a squeal as Loki abruptly pulled her back down onto the bed, shifting himself on top of her. Their lips met once more, the ends of Loki's dark hair tickling her cheeks and forehead.

“Satisfaction is not in my nature,” Loki purred, a devilish grin setting off the predatory look in his eyes that never failed to excite her. His fingers raked through her already tangled curls.

Sigyn closed her eyes and gasped as Loki's teeth grazed her neck. The knocking persisted, but Loki merely shook his head when Sigyn glanced at the bedchamber door.

“Not yet,” he breathed, his grip tightening against her. A flash of green escaped his fingers, and a fully dressed double strode into the antechamber to deal with the servants. “I've a few ministrations of my own before the handmaidens descend upon you.”

“Careful, or you'll make their jobs harder, and thus I'll be stuck with them longer,” Sigyn giggled as he nipped her collarbone. She'd expected to find him much more sullen upon waking, given how slighted he felt since the announcement that Thor would inherit the throne. Yet his playful mischief had returned over the past few days, coaxing her out of her own grief at last. The previous night had done both of them good, each returning to their old selves for a time.

“Then perhaps you should leave my marks upon you,” Loki nearly growled in her ear. “So that the entire court will know you are mine.”

“As if our wedding didn't already -” Sigyn's words were cut off as Loki's mouth covered hers, her cries of pleasure concealed from the servants in the hall.

 

Loki spent most of the morning with Thor, preparing for the ceremony. Sigyn busied herself in the great library before the handmaidens came looking for her, making good use of the early morning quiet to search through the grimoires, looking for some clues into the visions she'd seen in her sleep. They were so easy to dismiss in the peaceful light of day, but at night she'd been immersed into nightmares so vivid she'd wake swearing they were real.

_Deep, profound cold wastelands._

_Alien armies from unknown worlds._

_Stones of untold power._

_Fire._

_Dust._

And worst of all, how the dreams always ended: Loki, falling from the edge of the Bifrost, with Sigyn crying out, unable to save him.

She'd wake in tears. Even the sight of Loki, safe in bed beside her with his fingers entwined in the ends of her hair, provided little comfort. She'd thought the nightmares were merely an extension of her grief, and perhaps they were, but as the the coronation loomed closer, they'd only increased in frequency. Now they'd become a nearly nightly occurrence, leaving her questioning the impressions they'd left on her mind.

Prophecy dreams, she'd heard them called in passing. Rare, though the grimoires reported a few known cases, they were said to increase in times of impending crisis. Or great loss. In all her studies she'd never encountered a sorcerer who'd experienced one, and divination was not one of Sigyn's natural abilities. Even Runa thought them mere fodder for childrens' tales.

Still, even the strangest of tales were often mired in some degree truth.

“Princess?” a familiar voice pulled Sigyn away from her grim fears. She looked up to see the eager expressions of Eleni and Anders, her library assistants she'd selected from the villages after months of searching. “Forgive me, we're ready for our assignments.”

“No apology needed, Eleni,” Sigyn smiled, relieved to have some distraction from her concerns. “And please remember, I am Princess only when I am in the throne room. Otherwise, call me Sigyn.” She turned her attention to the stack of books on Midgard she'd piled on the table.

“It seems our texts on Midgard are outdated,” Sigyn went on, picking up one book near the top of the pile. “This is our most current text. Encyclopedia of Present Day Midgard. Printed in 1015.”

Eleni shrugged. “That was not so long ago.”

“Perhaps not,” Sigyn conceded. “Though I would at least like to confirm if they've completed their stonehenge yet.”

“I've heard they're going into space now,” Anders offered.

Eleni nodded. “I'll see if I can locate anything more current for the collection, Sigyn.” She took hold of the stack of Midgardian texts, balancing them against her hip.

“Excellent,” Sigyn replied. “I'd like a list of two dozen titles by the end of next week. Do not worry about how we will acquire them. I will handle that.” Eleni had proven to be a meticulous researcher, leaving no stone unturned in her tasks. Sigyn was confident she would find the best possible replacements the nine realms had to offer. Eleni bowed quickly before setting off for her own table at the end of the aisle. 

As Eleni turned, Sigyn caught sight of a familiar volume in her assistant's hands. "Eleni? Which book is that?"

Eleni froze, turning to Sigyn with a stricken look in her eyes. 

Sigyn held out her hand, nodding at the slim blue cover. "Well?"

Reluctantly, Eleni handed the book over. As Sigyn had suspected, it was the most recent collection of essays by Johann of Okolnir, a prominent satirist whose work, while amusing, was often deeply critical of the king and his policies. Needless to say, Sigyn was forbidden to have such material in the library and his works, like those of others like him, were strictly prohibited on palace grounds. 

Sigyn regarded the cover for a moment. "Eleni, surely you must know better than to walk about with such a ribald collection in your hands." Sigyn cast a small glamour over the cover, turning the title and cover art into that of a heroic saga not unlike the countless other such stories housed in the library. 

"You must be more careful," said Sigyn as she handed the volume back to Eleni. "New ideas are good for the mind, yet your mind cannot thrive in the dungeons." 

Relieved, Eleni nodded and returned to her task. 

Sigyn turned her attention to Anders. “The queen has allowed us to open the archives today, in light of how many people will be eager to see the palace after the coronation. I'd hoped you could put something together for the children, perhaps show them the archive and a few of our best texts. I'm sure you'll find a way to engage them.” Anders brightened, flashing his dimpled, impish grin.

“Yes, your majesty. I mean, Sigyn.” Anders bowed quickly before setting off down the hall, his already filled with ideas. Though his lanky frame suggested a strong, serious scholar, Anders still possessed a gregarious, boyish charm that made him seem more like an overgrown child himself. Children visiting the library was a rare event, but Sigyn knew Anders enjoyed working with them, finding ways to keep them entertained and encouraging their curiosity.

Sigyn watched as her assistants set to work. They were hard workers, she mused, but more importantly had her same enthusiasm for the library, the one quality she'd hoped to find when scouting for assistants. They remained diligent even during her absence after she'd miscarried and could barely stand to leave her bedchamber, taking on additional tasks without complaint until she returned. A swell of pride in her assistants bloomed in her heart, followed by a pang of guilt.

Now Sigyn surveyed the endless shelves surrounding her. Since she'd been proclaimed the curator, she'd slowly set about making the library's atmosphere more welcoming, the texts more accessible to the nobility and commoners alike. She'd convinced the Allfather to allow her to open the library to the public once a week, not as often as she would have liked but progress was slow in Asgard. Even this had caused some grumblings amongst the nobility, but Sigyn supposed they still grumbled about her as well, and there was little to stop it aside from moving on with her plans.

She ran her finger over the grimoires, her mind reeling once more from the visions that plagued her sleep. In mere hours Thor would be king. If she were having premonitions, could today's event be the crisis that caused them? She and Loki had discussed their concerns privately, and she shared his fears for Asgard should Thor's recklessness remain unchecked. It would explain the wasteland, the fire, and the dust, and perhaps the stones and the armies...but not the image that haunted her most.

Loki falling from the Bifrost.

Always it was what she saw last, before she woke with a gasp and tear-filled eyes. Could it be it was losing him that set the chain of events in motion?

The sounds of heels clicking down the aisle disrupted Sigyn's thoughts once more. She glanced up to see Frigga, surrounded by her handmaidens, approaching.

Sigyn straightened. “My queen, I am so glad to see you.” She bowed swiftly as Frigga stopped before the table. “I hope you are pleased with the state of the library. We're just beginning to update our-”

“Sigyn,” Frigga interrupted. “Are you aware the ceremony begins in an hour's time?”

Unaware at how much time had passed, Sigyn glanced down at her tunic and breeches, dotted with dust from the books, her fingertips gray from turning the old pages, and ran a hand over her loosely tied curls. “Is it that time already?”

“It is indeed,” the queen replied. “My handmaidens and I have come to collect you and help you get ready. Most of the court has already gathered in the throne room, so we must be make haste.”

Sigyn stifled a heavy sigh as she followed the queen out of the library. Her heart suddenly lost its desire for celebration, yet she had no one to share her concerns with. She would not have a chance to speak with Loki until after Thor was king, and for all she knew, by then it could be too late.

“How does Prince Loki fare, my queen? I have not seen him since we woke this morning,” Sigyn asked.

“I was rather hoping you would tell me,” the queen replied. “He is so closed off with his feelings, save with you.”

“He was faring better than I'd expected when I left him,” Sigyn shrugged. “I'm sure a part of him wishes he were on the throne, but I think he would feel stifled by the burden. And I prefer having more time with him.”

“And how are _you_ faring, my dear?”

Sigyn took a breath. It was a hard truth to accept- that she could have been a mother now, had they not found such a misfortune. The grief still weighed on her, though as time went on the burden lessened. “Healing,” she said at last.

“It is good to see you returning to the court,” Frigga smiled warmly. “And I have no doubt, when the time comes, you will make a wonderful mother.”

Sigyn blushed. Frigga lightly clasped Sigyn's hand as they walked on towards the royal chambers. “I still remember when discovered I was carrying Thor. The very second I knew I was with child the entire palace lit up with fanfare, yet I only wished to raise a strong, healthy son. It's hard when the king and his advisors see a future leader when he is still but a child to you.” At this, a pang of regret seemed to cross the queen's face. “Of course, that was also the time when my scrying gift revealed itself. It was a very tumultuous time for a young woman far from home.”

Sigyn paused. “Your scrying gift?” It was one of the queen's strongest powers. Sigyn had always assumed Frigga had possessed the skill her entire life.

“It's not uncommon for a sorcerer to uncover new abilities when with child,” Frigga replied, a sly look in her eyes as she glanced over at Sigyn. “Pregnancy alters your entire physiology, and sometimes affects magic.”

Sigyn's heart quickened at the mention of new powers. Perhaps it was possible her visions were real. She considered speaking of her dreams, but thought better of it. For as much as she adored the queen, in the end, Frigga's primary loyalty was to the Allfather. Sigyn feared the king's reaction if he should hear of Sigyn's visions. Perhaps he would punish her for thinking ill of the royal family. Or take his anger out on Loki. Even his advisors might push for casting Loki out. So many already seemed to think him guilty of some unknown crime, even the suggestion that he may connected with a future calamity would be more than enough reason for them to punish him.

“I suppose I was not with child long enough to develop a new gift,” Sigyn said after a moment. “But tell me, what gift did you uncover when you carried Loki?”

The queen stiffened at the question. “Every pregnancy is different,” she said after clearing her throat. “Not every child will bring new abilities with it.”

“Loki was a gift in and of himself, I suppose,” Sigyn smiled.

“Indeed he was,” the queen said softly as they arrived at the royal chambers, where even more handmaidens waited. “And he is lucky to have you.”

*

The throne room buzzed with excited energy as the court gathered before the throne, where Odin waited, adorned with his ceremonial helmet. Sigyn though she spotted traces of exhaustion in his eyes, but she was too far to see him properly. Perhaps, she suspected, there were other reasons why he seemed determined to proclaim Thor king.

Sigyn watched from her position just behind Sif and the queen. She stood with Odin's advisors, shifting her weight from one leg to another as they waited for the princes to appear in the hall. She fought the urge to tug at the pins that held her hair up behind her gold circlet, as they poked against her scalp. Instead she adjusted the bodice of her emerald green gown briefly, before thinking better of it and clasping her hands in front of her as they waited.

Across the throne room, she spotted Fandral watching her and chuckling. “ _Keep still_ ,” he mouthed as Sigyn's fingers crept back up to her bodice before she lowered them again. Fandral shook his head in jest. “ _So distracting.”_

Sigyn straightened her back and kept her hands firmly at her sides. Since she'd assumed the title of Princess of Asgard, she'd been the focus of far more attention than she'd ever cared to be. The eyes on her seemed so keen on finding fault with her, from minor lapses in decorum to moments where her pastoral dialect would slip out instead of the formal royal tongue she'd tried to emulate. Most recently she'd been informed that the elder nobles found her fidgeting at formal ceremonies unladylike and distracting when a proper royal ought to stand perfectly still. Despite her efforts, her fingers still itched to move as she stood while the wait dragged on.

A hush fell over the crowd at the sound as tips of Loki's helmet emerged from the stairwell leading to the throne room. Now the ceremony would begin, and the somber dignity of a transition of power filled the room. Now the princes would appear, one of whom would be crowned king.

But both princes did not appear. Instead, Loki emerged alone. Confused murmurs swept through the room, with displeased expressions crossing the faces of much of the court.

Loki walked on, his head high despite the palpable disappointment in the room. Sigyn's heart ached and she wanted to pull Loki away from the court, away from the ceremony, just so he wouldn't have to endure slight after slight simply for not being Thor.

She smiled at Loki as he met her eyes before taking his places next to Sif on the stairs. Thor still had not yet emerged, and even Sigyn could see the Allfather's irritation.

“Where is he?” Sif whispered at Loki.

“He said he'd be along,” Loki shrugged.

Sif rolled her eyes. “He wants to make an entrance.”

Frigga shook her head. “I told him not to keep his father waiting.”

Sigyn left her place and climbed the steps, moving in close behind Loki. “My prince,” she whispered. “I must speak with you.”

“Right now?” Loki replied. He stepped away from the stairs to speak with her privately.

“Yes,” Sigyn whispered, aware Sif, along with a few nobles, were eyeing them. “I'm deeply concerned about this coronation-”

“A bit late for that, don't you think?”

“ _Listen_ ,” Sigyn hissed, unsure what they could even at the literal last minute. “I...I think I've had visions-”

Her pleas were cut short by the sudden rapturous cheers from the crowd. Thor appeared at last, holding Mjolnir aloft.

“We will speak later,” Loki said before returning to his position before the throne.

The crowd roared as Thor strode through the throne room. He lapped up the attention, egging on the cheers as he made his victory walk. Gone was the somber dignity that a coronation traditionally symbolized for a king, replaced instead by a fervor stirred up by a warrior insisting upon absolute worship.

Sigyn watched from her position near the front of the crowd. Loki, Frigga, and Sif's backs were facing her, so she couldn't see their expressions. Doubtless they were not pleased. She clapped along, though inwardly wished for the ceremony to end so she could discuss her visions with Loki. They'd already been standing for so long and the giant hall grew hot and cramped.

Finally, Odin silenced the crowd with a single tap of Gungnir. As he spoke, she wondered why he felt Thor was truly ready for the throne. She'd grown fond of Loki's brother despite his brash behavior, but couldn't imagine the restless Thor ever dealing with the day to day demands of Asgard, away from the battlefield, dealing with petty feuds and complaints. Foreboding consumed her, turning her stomach and blurring her focus.

Her thoughts drifted back to Odin's speech just as he was about to proclaim Thor the king. After a long pause, two words came from his mouth that Sigyn did not expect to hear.

“Frost giants.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn is tasked with finding out how the Frost Giants got into Asgard, but finds more questions than answers.

Frightened whispers filled the hall. Loki had followed Thor and Odin into the weapons vault, and the three hadn't returned yet. Rumors swirled about as the court waited for word. In those long minutes of waiting, Sigyn heard everything from a rogue frost giant that had snuck in alone, to a last minute ambush with Laufey himself waiting to destroy the Allfather and both princes before unleashing his army on all of Asgard. She paced aimlessly along the hall, each new rumor sending her mind into a tailspin of new worries.

At last the three returned. The crowd surrounded them, eager for word on the invasion. Sigyn couldn't get close, but based on the surly expression on Thor's face there was no good news.

“The casket is safe and the threat is gone,” Odin announced. “The coronation is canceled. Return at once to your homes.” With that, the hall began to clear out. Thor stormed off. Loki caught sight of Sigyn and strode over to her.

“Did I not advise you to wait in our chambers until we were certain the danger had passed?”

“You did,” Sigyn replied. “Yet I felt it safer to remain here among the guards and onlookers rather than sit alone elsewhere. Besides, I was worried for you, my prince.” She threw her arms over his shoulders, relieved the disruption wasn't as dire as the whispers suggested.

“Of course you were,” Loki whispered, his body softening against hers. “Yet I swore on Gungnir I would always return to you when we wed, and I intend to honor that vow.”

Sigyn let him go after a moment. “What will we do now?”

“Father would like you to uncover the breach in our defenses,” Loki answered. “Any resources you require are at your disposal.”

Sigyn nodded. “I'll see what I can do.”

“And I fear another outburst from my brother is imminent,” Loki sighed. “I should locate him before he destroys the palace.”

 

Sigyn returned to the long table in the great library, having sent Anders and Eleni home in light of the canceled coronation. Though the Allfather remained certain that the three Frost Giants had acted alone, fear still swirled throughout the court, and Sigyn knew deep down many citizens hoped to find someone to blame so that their uncertainty could be assuaged.

Now every atlas she could find filled her table, save for the one she'd needed most- the detailed atlas of the Jotunheim, from the most thorough collection the great library had to offer. She'd hoped to find potential connection points between Jotunheim and Asgard, but without the right atlas the most she could to was speculate. She could not recall anyone requesting the Jotunheim atlas. They'd had such little contact with the Frost Giants there was little need to consult it. She rifled through the stacks of paper again, certain it had to be nearby. And if it wasn't, determined to overturn every shelf in the library until it was found.

“Darling?” Loki's voice echoed through the silent stacks.

“Back here, my prince,” Sigyn called back. She smiled as he found his way to her. “I'm glad to see your efforts to calm Thor have left you in one piece.”

“My person, yes,” Loki replied as Sigyn pecked his cheek. “Although the feasting table was far less fortunate.” He eyed the mess on her table. “And your search?”

“Stalled,” Sigyn sighed. “I'm missing an atlas of the Jotunheim. It's from the collection with the landscape detailing. I'm afraid I'm quite useless without it.”

Loki rifled through the stack of atlases for a moment before pulling one out from beneath the very bottom. “This one, correct?”

Sigyn stared at the atlas in Loki's hand. “Yes. Where was it?”

“At the very bottom, my sweet. I trust you'll make more progress now?”

“So it was here the whole time.” Sigyn shook her head as she shuffled through the atlases once more. “I know I checked this entire pile more than once!” She huffed. “I can't believe I missed it.”

“Easy oversight, darling,” Loki stroked her arm with one hand. “You must not be so hard on yourself.”

Heavy footsteps thundered down the aisles. “Brother!” Thor's voice boomed. “Surely you're not planning to read while my friends and I take all the glory, are you?”

Sigyn glanced at Loki. “Glory? What does he mean?”

A look of guilt crossed Loki's face. “Well, when I said I'd managed to calm Thor...”

“Brother?” Thor called again, stomping through the aisles.

Sigyn waited patiently for Loki to continue.

“...He'd gotten an idea for us to-” Loki cleared his throat. “Go to the Jotunheim ourselves and look for answers.”

 _Cold barren wasteland_. The image flashed in Sigyn's mind as her heart dropped into her gut.

“Which would be absolutely absurd. And suicide.”

“Indeed it would.”

“And so I presume you talked him out of it and he saw reason and now he's found a much less dangerous means of coping with his disappointment and...” Sigyn watched as Loki bit his lips and shook his head slightly. “And that is not even remotely how your conversation went, was it?”

“There you are!” Thor had found them at last. “Sif and the Warriors Three are waiting.” His impatient tone was not lost on Sigyn.

“Of course, brother,” Loki replied, his tone even and soft to assure Thor his authority was not being challenged. “I only wished to check on my wife.”

“Then let's make haste,” Thor commanded as he turned to leave.

“Loki, wait!” Sigyn hissed, grabbing hold of Loki's wrist. She glanced over to ensure Thor was out of earshot. Her visions, forgotten in the madness of the Jotuns' arrival, came flooding back. “You cannot go to the Jotunheim!”

“Shh,” Loki soothed, cupping her chin with his fingers. He leaned in close. “I've no intention of allowing us to go that far. But if Thor doesn't have his way all of us will incur his wrath.”

“But Loki,” Sigyn protested. “You don't understand. I-I think something awful is about to happen.”

“Brother!” Thor's impatience threatened to spill over into another overturned table.

“If I don't humor him, it will,” Loki whispered. He took her in his arms once more. “Remember what I said, my Sigyn. That I will uphold my vow and return to you, no matter what may happen.” He pressed his forehead against hers. “Do not worry. I will be back soon.”

“You'd better,” Sigyn murmured, though Loki's assurances did nothing to soothe her fears. “Because if you do not I shall drag you back from the depths of Hel myself.”

*

The hour had grown late in Asgard. Sigyn had identified a few points on the Jotunheim atlas that may serve as pathways to Asgard, though she could not find the Allfather in order to present her findings. It was then she'd heard the news from a nearby guard- the king was on a mission to Jotunheim in order to bring back the princes and the warriors.

 _Cold barren wasteland._ Sigyn nearly dropped her stack of papers at the news. So they'd made it to the land of the Frost Giants after all, and only the Norns knew what trouble Thor's wrath had stirred up. Her head swam knowing that right now her husband stood on enemy territory.

The guards noticed her shock, and promptly escorted her back to her and Loki's chambers. They still thought her fragile, and any sign of that she may be weak or unwell brought unnecessary concern over her well-being even to this day. Sigyn normally protested such fussing but her thoughts were far too focused on the Jotunheim to resist being lead away from the throne room.

In the distance she could see the flash from the Bifrost, signaling Odin's return from Jotunheim. She ran to the window, as though she could discern what transpired from so far away. Moments later, the Bifrost flashed through the sky again, sending what looked like two figures away from Asgard, though Sigyn had no idea who had gone. The Bifrost went silent once more, and Sigyn returned to her place in the antechamber, hoping Loki would return in a few moments.

As the evening wore on, she tried to lose herself in one of Loki's books, but no amount of distraction could settle her nerves, and she needed to speak with Loki now that one of her visions had seemed to come true. As she waited for his return, her thoughts began to run wild with worry. Had the Allfather imprisoned his own sons? Perhaps the Jotuns had caught up to them after all and finished the royal family off.

She could not wait any longer. She pulled open the heavy doors and set off down the hall, only to find Loki in the corridor, lingering with no apparent desire to enter the chambers.

“Loki!” she cried, racing down the corridor. She threw her arms over his shoulders. “I'm so glad you're okay.” Under her embrace, she could feel Loki shrink back from her, placing a tentative hand against her hip.

“My prince, what's the matter?” She pulled back and studied his face. His expression was sober, his eyes reddened. Had he been crying?

“Thor is banished to Midgard. Father has fallen into the Odinsleep.” Loki sounded exhausted, almost monotone.

“Oh, Loki,” Sigyn gasped. “I am so sorry.” Despite Thor's arrogance and temper, she was fond of him. In less than a day's time he'd gone from the heir of the throne to banished. It shocked her to think the Allfather could do such a thing to his own son. She reached her hand up to the back of Loki's head, her fingers stroking the ends of his hair. He pulled away from her touch once more, abruptly turning away and striding towards the bedchamber. She followed, bewildered at his aloof demeanor. She knew it had nothing to do with her, yet his coldness still stung.

“Loki,” she tried again once they'd entered the bedchamber. “I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now.” She sat on the bed beside him and placed her hand on top of his. “But you must know I am here for you always. You have no need to hide your heart from me.”

Loki's eyes met hers. She could see the agony in his eyes and yearned more than anything to soothe his pain, to fight off whatever troubles he had. His mouth opened briefly, then closed again with a slight shake of his head. He looked away.

“I am merely tired.” His words were not convincing, but Sigyn knew there was little to gain from pushing him to open up before he was ready. “Will you rest with me?”

“Of course, my prince.” Sigyn leaned in close to kiss Loki, but he made no move to reciprocate, instead looking at her as though she were out of her mind. She paused. To decline physical contact with her was so unlike him, and she felt slighted by the rejection. She leaned back and smiled. “Whatever you wish.”

She'd planned to share her visions with him, but looking at him now, with the weight of the realm collapsing onto his shoulders, she did not wish to burden him further. And so she held her tongue. Instead, she undressed and slid underneath the sheets. The morning light had a way of providing clarity to most ills, and she hoped his spirits would lift once they woke.

*

Loki watched Sigyn laying still across from him, her chest rising up and down with her soft breathing. Her eyelids fluttered as she slept. Her now-familiar lavender scent lingered in the air around them. The strap from her sleeping tunic had slid off her shoulder.

Loki reached out a tentative hand to caress her arm, but drew back as she stirred. He couldn't look at his hands without seeing that sickening blue hue. It felt perverse to touch her knowing what he was, though he wanted nothing more then to collapse into her arms.

If she only knew, he thought. The truth about what he was. Perhaps waking one morning to find him in his Jotun form laying beside her. How would she react, knowing what she'd married? Knowing all those times he'd been _inside_ her, what she'd really lain with? What kind of seed she'd briefly carried?

That was why he'd delayed returning to their chambers after the battle, he realized now. Some part of him remained certain that she'd uncover his true nature at any moment. Already he envision her terror-filled eyes, her screams piercing the air as she recoiled, the love she bore for him vanishing in instant. She could not possibly still love him if she discovered his heritage. He did not deserve her, and yet could not let her go.

Fresh tears stung his eyes. It all made so much sense now, why he'd always been cast aside in favor of Thor. Why none of his efforts to gain Odin's approval ever succeeded. How could Odin see him as anything other than that mewling, pathetic little creature not even wanted by its own parents?

It was all a lie. He deserved none of this, not the throne, not the fine garments he wore, nor these golden chambers. A burning desire to smash his surroundings to pieces nearly overcame him, but instead he abruptly rose, striding out of the chamber door and back down the long corridor, leaving Sigyn where she lay.

He would fix this. He would earn his golden surroundings. He would destroy any evidence of his real parentage. He would earn his family's love and Asgard's respect. He would prove himself once and for all.

*

Sigyn woke to find Loki gone. She sat up in a panic. Her visions had returned, and she'd seen Loki fall once again. But this time she found no reassurance that he was safe beside her. She rushed out of bed, throwing her robe over her shoulders as she ran into the antechamber, unable to shake the sense of imminent danger.

She pulled the golden door open, nearly colliding with the servant carrying the morning meal. She offered a quick apology before running down the corridor, unsure where she intended to go, letting only her fear guide her.

She stopped when she reached the throne room, stunned at the sight of Loki seated on Odin's throne, Gungnir firmly in hand, in his full ceremonial armor.

“Loki,” she breathed, relieved that he was safe, yet puzzled at the sight before her.

“Hello, my darling.”

She stepped closer. Loki made no effort to stand, though he watched her closely. “That was quite a mad dash,” he said. “What troubles you?”

“I woke to find you gone from our chambers,” she replied, the words sounding foolish as they left her tongue. “I feared something may have happened to you.”

Loki seemed to find this amusing. “I did not wish to upset you, my dear Sigyn. I merely made haste to attend to my new duties as your king.”

Sigyn blinked. “King?”

“Thor is banished. Father has fallen into the Odinsleep,” Loki explained. “The line of succession falls to me. Now we must stand together and prevent war with the Jotunheim.”

“Of course,” Sigyn replied. She'd never expected to see Loki acting as king, and while she should have felt pride at this achievement, yet everything from the chain of events that transpired to Loki's demeanor felt wrong. Though her visions had sent her into the throne room, the presence of guards and servants kept her quiet. She needed to get him alone. She cleared her throat. “My king, I have made some progress in my search for the pathway from Jotunheim. I've identified several possible locations from which they may have entered. If we may speak in private -”

Loki dismissed her with a wave of his hand. “You are a very clever woman, Sigyn. And I have no doubt you would be able to locate such a pathway with little trouble. But I must command you to cease any further investigation into this matter at once."

“But my pri- my king,” Sigyn protested. “If we are on the brink of war with the Jotunheim, would we not want to locate the breach as soon as possible so that we are not vulnerable?”

"It is precisely because we are on the brink of war that I cannot allow you to continue," Loki went on. "You are a very high-ranking figure, and a precious emblem of the crown, Sigyn. I cannot risk you being anywhere near our borders at such a precarious time. I dread the thought of what the Jotuns would do to you were they to catch you."

"But Loki, I am so close! Surely with a few guards nearby I can safely-"

Loki's eyes hardened, as though she'd offended him. “My darling wife, has your renowned devotion suddenly failed you at this most uncertain time in Asgard? Surely you cannot have forgotten your own vow to trust me?”

“Not at all,” Sigyn said, ignoring the pang of guilt. His demeanor alarmed her. He was tense, as though one small slight might snap him into rage. And he'd never called her love for him into question, nor dismissed her views. While she was not permitted to attend meetings with the King's advisors, Loki would often share the topics of discussion with her, listening to her opinions even if he disagreed, and presenting her thoughts to the advisors if he did. “I am simply concerned with the good of Asgard. And you.”

Loki's expression softened. He beckoned her to come forward. She ascended the stairs until she stood before him. He rose, never taking his eyes from her. “What Asgard and its king need is you by my side, my Sigyn. Your unwavering fidelity shall serve as a beacon in these difficult times.” He caressed her cheek.

His words were flattering, but a certain unusual coldness did little to reassure her. “Loki...” she breathed. “I need to tell you I've had visions in my sleep. I...I didn't know what to make of them at first but I fear they may foretell events to come.”

He tilted her chin upward. “You are wise to bring such concerns to your king. I can assure you I will do my utmost to protect Asgard. And you, little wife.” His lips met hers, but the gesture lacked the warm playfulness that imbued so many of his kisses.

“It is not me I fear for,” Sigyn murmured as their lips parted. “It is you.”

The hardened expression returned. “You think me incapable?”

“I think there are signs of grave danger we must face,” Sigyn answered. “And the visions...they vary from night to night, but each one ends with me losing you.”

“You shall not lose me,” Loki declared, sliding his hands down her arms. “I will show you your visions are little more than dreams, and I will prove myself worthy of your affections. All I ask in return is your assistance in providing what is best for Asgard and your king.”

Sigyn looked into his eyes and spoke the truth. “You shall have it.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sigyn's famous loyalty is tested as mounting evidence suggests Loki may be involved with the Jotuns.

Sigyn settled into a small corner of the garden, hoping the warm air would clear her head. She brought along a quill and one of her journals, hoping to make sense of her visions, Loki's new position, the events over the past few days, and how best to restore the fragile peace Thor had destroyed. She still kept the atlas close by, still glancing at the points she'd marked. Despite Loki's command, the possibility that Jotuns could exploit a weakness in Asgard's defenses once more nagged her. Another group could be making their way into Asgard at any moment, yet Loki did not wish for her search for the pathway any longer.

It made no sense, she reasoned as she ran her fingers along the atlas. To leave a pathway vulnerable to another invasion when Laufey had just made direct threats of war and death against Asgard. She wondered what Loki was thinking with his command. His cunning and unpredictability were well-known by the court, yet Sigyn could at least identify the logic in his seemingly illogical plans even when she did not agree. But she'd left the throne room that morning truly mystified.

She looked up from her work, surveying the palace, the citizens milling about through its halls, going about their days, trusting that their rulers would keep them safe. The grave burden of responsibility for their well-being hit her at once. Fresh anger simmered within her at Thor, that his recklessness had endangered so many innocents. And at the Allfather being so blind to his favored son's faults. But what could she do to help protect their people when her only task had been taken from her? She could try speaking with Loki once more but his time on the throne only made him more agitated.

Sigyn gathered her belongings and left the garden, as hiding there wasn't going to solve anything.

As she passed the healing chambers, she heard voices arguing from the corridor.

“Well now what are we going to do?” She recognized Volstagg's voice, muffled as usual by mouthfuls of food.

“With Loki on the throne? I'm afraid we're low on options,” Fandral replied, causing Sigyn to pause by the doorway, just out of sight.

“If he did bring the Jotuns into Asgard, he must have been planning to keep Thor off the throne,” Hogun said. Sigyn's temper flared at his accusation. “And now he sits upon it.”

“We must find a way to bring Thor back,” Sif replied. “Even if we must defy Loki.”

Sigyn clenched a fist. Even when on the throne, Thor's friends had no intention of showing him respect, and in fact seemed to think he'd schemed against his own brother.

“Loki could be working with Laufey,” Hogun added. “He knew there were traitors in the house of Odin.”

“Then we cannot trust him.”

“Perhaps his wife could talk him into bringing Thor back?”

“I think not,” Sigyn replied, striding into the room. She took a small degree of pleasure in their stunned faces, with Volstagg nearly dropping his plate.

“What are you doing here?” Volstagg asked.

“I live here.”

“Of course,” Fandral chuckled, too loudly. Sigyn glanced at the four of them. Fandral and Volstagg grinned widely at her, while Hogun and Sif did not bother to hide their suspicious glares.

“Tell me,” Sif spoke now. “Have you located the breach in our defenses?”

Sigyn bristled. “If you must know, Lady Sif, our king Loki felt such an investigation exposed Asgard to unnecessary risk and requested that I not continue at this time.”

The Warriors Three exchanged glances. Sif kept her gaze fixed on Sigyn. “And you believe him?”

Sigyn did not flinch despite the concerns she'd privately harbored. After all, she was under no obligation to explain herself, especially to four people so eager to undermine Loki. “I believe Loki is doing what he believes is right in a precarious time for Asgard. And you'd be wise to support him.”

But Sif was not finished. “And you trust him despite his jealousy? His many tricks?”

“Loki may be envious, yes, but he is not heartless. He was just as shaken by Thor's banishment as any of us. And perhaps if he were not silenced and dismissed at every opportunity, he would not have to resort to tricks to get his points across.”

“With all due respect, princess, you do not know him-”

“He is my husband, of course I know him!” Sigyn snapped, her patience at an end. “What kind of hapless damsel or feckless pet do you take me for?” She'd hoped the perception that she was some sort of unwitting victim of one of Loki's enchantments had died once they'd wed. Yet it seemed that nasty bit of courtly gossip persisted.

Fandral put his hands up. “We have no quarrel with you, my dear Princess. Sif simply means that you do not understand-”

“I understand much more than you think,” Sigyn went on. “I understand that all four of you are so keen to undermine him that you will believe the words of _our sworn enemy king_ simply so you can make baseless accusations. I understand you do not wish to see him on the throne simply because he isn't Thor. I understand the Allfather was the one to banish Thor and Loki must uphold his final command even if you do not agree. And I understand that Loki is now your king and it's about time you showed him some respect.” Sigyn took a breath. “All four of you should be ashamed of yourselves.”

With that Sigyn turned and stormed from the healing chamber, still trembling from the rush of unleashing the long-held anger she'd harbored at their treatment of Loki.

“As though Thor is so much more qualified to deal with war with the Jotuns,” she seethed.

Yet beneath her anger, the seeds of doubt had taken hold.

Loki knew how to conceal himself from prying eyes.

Loki knew of hidden paths between the worlds.

Loki had discovered Franang's Falls, where even Heimdall's gaze did not reach.

Loki had good reason to see the coronation disrupted. His concerns were dismissed as mere jealousy, so it followed that he'd use a trick to prove his point.

Loki found the very atlas she'd been looking for with ease when she could not. When she was certain she'd checked her shelves multiple times.

And Loki had halted her investigation into finding the pathway. Out of a desire to keep her out of danger.

Or to keep her from discovering the truth.

 _No._ Sigyn thought. She would not allow the warriors' accusations to pollute her thinking. Loki was her husband and her king. He needed her support now more than ever.

Nevertheless, she pulled out the atlas once more, surveying the points she'd marked. For all she knew, all of these locations could serve as pathways between Asgard and Jotunheim, or none of them. There was only one way to be sure. Yet Loki had barred her from searching.

Still, her mind would remain ill at ease until she found the path.

“Damn them,” Sigyn spat as she retrieved her cloak. The warriors would never accept Loki, but they'd gone too far with their disrespect. If she found the path, perhaps she could prove Loki didn't do it, or get him away from the court if he did. He would be angry that she'd gone against him, but in time he'd see it was only because she'd cared for him.

*

Loki surveyed the kingdom from the palace balcony, where the view extended to the Bifrost and beyond to the outer cosmos. He'd lived here his whole life, so strange to think he was not born within these palace walls, as he'd been led to believe. This was his home, and his kingdom. He would prove he was just as much an Asgardian as Thor, his true nature be damned.

The midday sun reached its zenith in the sky, illuminating the city in a golden glow. He belonged here, did he not? Surely that cold barren wasteland was not the place for him, with its lack of sun and brutish creatures who did not even want him to survive as an infant. He'd have to return there soon, but for now he waited for the guards he'd sent to fetch Sigyn. They had yet to bring her despite the long wait. At long last the sounds of heavy boots approached the throne room.

He left the balcony, only to find the guards standing without her. “Where is my wife?”

“My liege, I'm sorry. The princess has gone missing.”

Loki glared at the guard. “What?”

The guard bowed his head. “She's nowhere in the palace.”

“Then _find_ her,” Loki demanded, already guessing where she'd gone. “Even if you must search the entire realm, find her and bring her to me. I want her back by the time I return from the Jotunheim.”

*

Sigyn steadied herself along the rocky hillside beyond the city, her fingers blistered from the effort. The air at this high altitude blurred her focus, and sent shivers down her spine as the cold wind blew. This was the fourth point she'd marked on the atlas, having found the other three points to be dead ends. Beyond the hillside, she could see the fortress where she and Loki had spent their seclusion after they'd wed. Longing for those peaceful days filled her. Once this was all over, she wondered if such an escape might be welcome for both of them.

Pangs of guilt weighed on her heart. _I am no better than those treacherous warriors, being out here like this,_ she thought. She considered, not for the first time since she'd departed the palace, turning around and going home, but she'd already gone this far. And her own peace of mind compelled her to continue.

Now she neared a small crevice in the hillside, barely perceptible if one observed the hill from a distance, and only just wide enough to allow one person though at a time. But as she crept closer, an unseasonably icy chill swirled from within the opening. She took a breath, bracing herself for the blast of cold, and entered.

Her eyes adjusted to the dark as she pushed forwards into the crevice, her hands grazing along the deep blue of the walls. As she moved along her fingertips grew numb from the ever-thickening frost that surrounded her. Beneath the ice she could detect faint flashes of magical energy, not unlike the ones that powered the Bifrost. At last, it seemed, she was getting somewhere.

She followed the narrow pathway deep into the hillside. Any light from the sun vanished behind her. Soon even her heavy winter cloak proved inadequate for the cold. She summoned her magic, surrounding herself in yellow light to keep warm.

At last she came to an opening leading to a rocky, barren cliff. Her boots slipped over the frozen rocks, but she caught herself just in time to avoid tumbling to her demise. Beneath her vantage point lay the barren cold of Jotunheim.

The stone structure of what looked to be the ruins of a palace stood in the midst of the landscape. Beyond the high tower, she could see a group of Jotuns gathered in a loose circle. On the icy throne sat what had to be Laufey himself.

Despite the grave danger, Sigyn crouched low and moved in closer, trudging down from the crevice in order to closer to the Jotuns. Perhaps she could find some information about what Laufey's plans, or a hint into how they'd discovered the way into Asgard.

She descended the hillside, the ends of her cloak soaking with snow. Her heart raced as she crept further into the realm, the most feared in all of Yggdrasil. To look at it now, it seemed the last great war had left it still in ruins, and she wondered once more how much they'd been mislead about the cruel nature of the Frost Giants.

She stopped just as the Jotuns were within earshot, staying low and ready to make a quick escape should she be spotted. They focused on the middle of the circle, regarding a much smaller figure standing before them. As the figure moved, she spotted the green cape and gold armor she knew all to well.

“I will conceal you...” Loki said now, carrying himself with confidence despite the hostility surrounding him. “Lead you into Odin's chambers and you can slay him where he lies.”

“Why not kill him yourself?” Laufey asked.

Loki smirked. “I suspect that the Asgardians would not take kindly to a king who had murdered his predecessor.”

Sigyn bit back a gasp at the conversation before her. Loki was too far away for her to see his facial expressions, but Laufey seemed intrigued by the offer.

“I...accept,” the Jotun king said now.

“No...” Sigyn whispered. Surely Sif and the Warriors Three could not have been correct about Loki's schemes. She could never imagine Loki conspiring with their enemy to harm his own father. There had to be more to his plan, yet surely bringing more danger into Asgard was far too high a risk. Odin and Frigga could both be slain at the hand of Laufey if whatever Loki planned were to fail, so say nothing of the lives of their guards.

 _He is not acting in his right mind,_ Sigyn thought as the Bifrost flashed in the dark sky, bringing Loki back to Asgard. _I must stop him._

Sigyn fought the panic rising within her, glancing back at the crevice that would bring her home. It now seemed all too far away. Here she was, all alone on enemy soil.

Slowly she stepped back, fighting the urge to turn and flee as quickly as her legs could manage. Such a mad dash would draw their attention. Step by step she backed away from the Jotuns' meeting, certain they'd hear her pounding heart. She held her breath as long as possible, cursing the small fogs that escaped her nose and mouth. Every once in a while she'd pause, if the Jotuns stepped toward her hiding spot, and she would wait for long, agonizing moments until she could move again. She continued her escape, her movements soft and silent in the snow, until she reached the hillside from which she'd entered. She cast a small illusion to conceal her tracks before turning to the hill.

Now she climbed as swiftly as the icy rocks would allow, hoping the Jotuns were too far away to catch her should she be spotted. Her feet slipped beneath her more than once in her haste, and she just barely swallowed down her yelps of surprise.

At last she reached the crevice, sliding into the narrow cavern and scurrying along the darkened path, certain at any moment a Frost Giant would come charging in after her. She did not look back, instead focusing on the increasing warmth at the other side of the path.

Finally the setting sun of Asgard greeted her at the mouth of the crevice, and Sigyn breathed a heavy sigh of relief. She slid to the ground for a moment, laughing and catching her breath. She had grave work ahead of her, but for now she enjoyed the temporary reprieve. Once she'd recovered, she cast an incantation to seal the path, blocking the Jotuns from using it again. Even if she couldn't stop Loki from bringing Laufey into Asgard, she could at last make it harder for him to do so. Satisfied, she crawling out of the crevice, and began the descent from the hillside.

By the time she reached the bottom, a dozen guards were waiting for her.

*

The hour grew late in Asgard. Sigyn waited with the guards in her chambers, where they'd brought her after finding her exploring the hillside. She kept quiet about what she'd seen and heard there, though no doubt Loki already knew where she'd gone. Now she dreaded his return.

Finally he strode into the antechamber, stopped as he looked at her, his face inscrutable.

“Leave us,” he commanded to the guards.

The silence hung thick and heavy in the air between them once the chamber door closed, leaving them alone. Loki slowly circled her as Sigyn studied her hands. Though Thor's temper was famous for his bombastic outbursts, there without warning and gone just as fast, Loki's could be just as formidable, if not more so, burning cold and quiet. Unforgiving.

For the very first time, such anger was directed at her.

“Are you not going to ask me where I was?” Sigyn asked quietly. “Or what I saw?”

Loki stopped before her. “We are way past that, dear wife.”

“Loki,” Sigyn began. “I know you are not pleased with me, but you must know I did not defy you out of malice.”

“I am your king.”

“You are my husband.”

Loki moved closer until almost no space remained between them, his eyes dark. “The love I bear for you, Sigyn, is the only thing keeping you out of the dungeons. My father has had his own inner circle imprisoned, flogged, and banished for far less than such a betrayal as yours.”

“ _Betrayal?_ ” Sigyn retorted. “Loki, I _love_ you. I left my home for you. I shared my magic with you. I wed you! I have defended you against all you have tricked and all who have questioned your allegiances! Why not even a few hours ago-”

“And who brought you here, hmm?” Loki seethed. “Who helped you hone all those gifts you possess? Provided those fine clothes on your back? Those jewels in your hair?” He gripped her shoulder. “Since we crossed paths I have granted you everything your heart desired. You have never wanted for anything- _anything_ \- Sigyn, and never once did you waver in your devotion to me. Until now, when I need you most.” A tear slid down his cheek as he spoke.

“I remain your devoted wife,” Sigyn answered, keeping her voice steady despite the sting of his accusations. “You asked me for assistance in providing what is best for Asgard and its king. And I acted with the intent to do exactly that.”

“You think it best for Asgard to ignore my express command?”

“I think you have not been yourself since you returned from the battle at Jotunheim. Because you tried to prove your point about Thor and it's gotten further out of hand than you expected. And you feel guilty and are trying to fix it.” She took a deep breath. “But I don't believe the Loki I love is capable of endangering his own father, or putting our own people in harm's way. And whatever you hope to gain by bringing Laufey into Asgard, it will not bring you peace.”

Loki ran a hand slowly down the length of her hair, though the gesture brought Sigyn no comfort. “My sweet little Sigyn, so eager to see the best in all she comes across. Not even a monster standing before you draws a word of ire from your lips.”

“You are not a monster, Loki.”

Loki laughed a cold, mirthless laugh. “If you only knew-”

An exasperated sigh escaped Sigyn lips. “Loki, what is this about? What don't I know?”

Loki regarded her. His hand moved from her shoulder down to her abdomen. “The truth of what we created all that time ago. That little monster.”

The words hit her like a slap. “How can you _say_ that?” She cried, tears stinging her eyes. “Our child!”

Loki's voice grew low. “Though perhaps your body knew what it bore, even if we did not. And so cast it out.”

The tears rolled down Sigyn's cheek in earnest. “So it is true. You do blame me.”

“Better that it did not enter this world, Sigyn. You will understand, in time” Loki replied coldly. He stood, striding towards the door.

“Loki,” Sigyn warned, her voice like that of a wounded animal. “You may be a proud king, but I am ashamed to be your wife."

She regretted the statement the instant the words left her lips.

For the briefest of a moments, a look of agony crossed Loki's face. Sigyn's heart shattered at the sight despite her anger. How far had they fallen, to wound each other like this?

The look vanished in an instant, replaced by Loki's usual collected exterior. Without a word he opened the golden doors, his attention on the guards outside.

“Princess Sigyn is quite exhausted from her wanderlust. Be sure she is left undisturbed for the remainder of the evening. I will collect her in the morning. In the meantime,” Loki's eyes cut to Sigyn, “She is not to leave these chambers.”

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Loki plan begins to fall into place, Sigyn hopes to reach him before the Jotuns' arrival. But she has no idea just how far he's already gone. And she may already be too late...

Loki returned to his vantage point on the palace balcony, his eyes fixed on the Bifrost in the distance. Any moment now, it would open. Against his explicit command. Heimdall would defy him, and now Loki waited for the inevitable treason. Even when rightfully on the throne, it seemed all of Asgard stood against him.

Even his own wife.

He should not have been surprised that she'd continued her search. Perhaps he'd even expected it, given her tenacity. When he met her she'd stood before the Allfather himself and scolded him for failing to rescue her sister. For all her kind, gentle nature, she fought for her loved ones. He'd loved that about her. A pity, then, that she'd failed to see how his actions now were for the best. For all of them.

 _I am ashamed to be your wife_. The words stung, coming from her. His comment about their lost child wounded her, and he supposed he ought not to have said it until she was ready to face the truth. He wondered, would she still be so ashamed once he'd won the throne? Once he'd destroyed Jotunheim at last? When Asgard at last accepted him as a hero, would she then stand as his lone detractor, in spite of her vows? Such an interesting reversal.

In time she would come to understand. For now, she was in their chambers, surrounded by guards, safe from the Jotuns he'd be leading into the palace very shortly. Even if she came to despise him, he would love her still. And so would he continue to protect her.

As he predicted, the Bifrost shone in the distance, and Loki already knew exactly whom Heimdall had opened it for, and where he'd sent them. The utter predictability of the betrayal did nothing to lessen his anger.

With the Casket secured in one of his dimensional pockets, he turned from the balcony and strode off.

*

Sigyn sat in the antechamber chair, exactly where Loki had left her, and where she was to remain according to his command. Outside, the Bifrost flashed in the distance from her window. She wondered who might be leaving. Or arriving. Yet the Bifrost was not what troubled her now.

For the first time since they'd met, Loki scared her. Though she knew he'd never harm her, she feared the madness in his eyes, the agitation in his movements, the low growl of his voice when he spoke. She no longer recognized the man she'd married in this new king of Asgard.

 _I should have spoken up sooner_ she thought. _He would not have acted so rashly if he'd known about the visions._ She sighed, surveying the guards at the door. _Or he would he would have committed far worse actions to stop Thor. Or not believed me._

For all his anger, she loved him still. Perhaps if she were to get him away from the palace he might open up about what distressed him so. If she could reach him first, before the Jotuns arrived, she might be able to make him see the folly of his actions, and cease his plan without risking further lives lost.

Laufey. The enemy of Asgard was probably in the halls right now, with guards of his own. The thought unnerved her. But she could not sit idly by without trying to find Loki, however much she may fear what may lurk in the halls. She needed to escape the chambers.

Two guards stood before the golden doors. They'd not moved since Loki departed, and would remain until he returned for her.

She stood, moving toward the center of the antechamber.

“Are you in need of something, Princess?” one of the guards asked, stepping forward so as to not let Sigyn out of sight.

“Oh, I find I am in need of my mirror. It's a small handheld one, sitting atop my dressing table in the bedchamber,” she replied innocently. “I wish to look pleasing for the king when he returns for me. May I retrieve it?”

One of the guards stepped forward. “I shall fetch it, Princess. You are to remain here.” The guard stepped away from the doors and entered the bedchamber while the other moved to the center of the doorway, closing the space.

She nodded politely, placing herself in the center of the antechamber. A moment later, the other guard returned with her mirror. “Will that be all, milady?” he asked as he handed over the mirror.

Sigyn grasped the mirror in one hand, summoning her magic with the other. She held the mirror face up, tilting it at just the right angle. “One more thing...” she began. “I wish to tell you I am sorry.”

The guard tilted his head. “For what?”

“This.”

With that she brought her hand over top of the mirror, releasing a bright flash of light onto the reflective surface. She shut her eyes as the light flared through the antechamber, bright enough to temporarily blind the guards as she dashed to the door, throwing it open.

As she expected, the halls were empty. Even the guards that normally patrolled the royal quarters were nowhere in sight. She raced down the corridor, in the direction of the king's chambers.

A blast of ice crossed her path, forming a thick sheet across the hall that blocked her way. She looked up to see a Jotun, looming over her.

She straightened, meeting the Jotun's eyes despite her fear. It was the first time she'd encountered one up close, and found his expression strangely familiar. There was no malice, only resignation.

“Go now, little one,” the Jotun said. “Before you are spotted.”

Sigyn held firm, summoning her magic. “No. This is my home and you cannot frighten me. _You_ go.”

The Jotun turned, offering a slight shake of his head. Sigyn held a globe of magic in her arms, silently hoping the Jotun would stand down.

Before she could react, the Jotun grabbed her by the neck, lifting her off her feet. His grip sent a painful, cold burn onto her flesh, but the warmth of her magic quickly dispelled its effects. Sigyn grasped the Jotun's forearms, sending her magic deep into his flesh.

The Jotun roared in pain, dropping Sigyn. She landed with a hard thud onto the ground.

“I told you to go.” Sigyn rolled to her side, facing the Jotun. Already a large bruise was forming on her hip.

Behind them, the ice barrier shattered, scattering the sharpened pieces all over the corridor. Sigyn and the Jotun turned to see Thor standing before them, Mjolnir in hand.

“Return to your realm immediately,” Thor commanded. “No further harm will come to you. You have my word.”

Sigyn raised her eyebrows. A mere few days ago Thor gleefully slaughtered his way through hundreds of Jotuns, and would have destroyed them all given half a chance. For him to offer mercy shocked her.

The Jotun regarded them both for a moment, before turning and escaping down the corridor.

“Thor?” Sigyn asked, pulling herself up. “You're back?”

Thor helped Sigyn to her feet. “Are you alright?” Though his words were kind, the flicker of suspicion in his eyes was not lost on her. “Where is my brother?”

“In the king's chambers, I believe,” said Sigyn. “The Jotuns, he lead them here. Why, I do not know.”

Thor set off down the corridor, a determined stride that told Sigyn he was on the warpath. She caught his arm and held him back.

“Thor, please,” she pleaded. “Loki has made a grave mistake, I know. But please, do not harm him.”

Thor clenched his jaw, and Sigyn realized that Loki's actions over the past day hadn't been limited to just Asgard and the Jotunheim. The grim reality that she had no idea just what her beloved had done, and planned to do, struck her to the core.

“Please,” Sigyn said again, for no matter how far gone Loki's mind had gone, for no matter what his troubles were, she loved him. “He's your brother.”

“Very well,” Thor relented, though his anger was palpable. “Leave the father's chambers to me, you must not be in harm's way if the Jotuns are still lurking.”

With that, Thor charged down the corridor, though Sigyn feared he would not keep his word. Alone in the golden hall, her eyes searched over her surroundings. Laufey most certainly did not come to Asgard alone, even with Loki's alleged welcome. Perhaps there were other Jotuns in the palace, though where they were she did not know.

Rather than return to her chambers, she quietly roamed down the corridor, checking for signs of the Jotuns. In the eerie silence, she found nothing despite peering around corner after corner. No a single Jotun, guard, or servant could be found.

Loki must have ensured no one would be present when the Jotuns arrived. Perhaps this was why he'd confined her to their chambers.

 _Ensuring none of our people would be harmed,_ Sigyn thought. _Or that no one would be present to catch him._

Satisfied that no other Jotuns were lurking the halls, she turned back to the royal chambers. Despite Thor's promise, she feared what would become of Loki.

She neared the king's doors to find Odin, newly awakened, charging out of the chambers. He nearly knocked her back as he strode off.

“Sigyn!” the queen called, rushing out after the king. She grasped Sigyn's arm. “I'm so glad you're alright.”

“My queen, where are the princes?” Sigyn glanced into the chamber, finding no sign of either Thor or Loki, but a large hole in the wall instead.

“The Bifrost,” Frigga replied. “Loki means to destroy Jotunheim for their plot against us. Thor-”

Sigyn's stomach dropped. “Oh Norns, no.”

Without another word, she ran, hoping against all evidence that she wouldn't be too late. Yet no matter how fast she ran, her pace felt impossibly slow.

She'd run out of the palace just in time to see the explosion. The entire sky ignited with a flash of white light, blinding her for a moment. The impact sent shock waves over the water and shook the ground all the way to the palace where she stood, nearly knocking her back.

“Loki!” she screamed, though the impact of the explosion drowned out her voice. She tore through the palace grounds, racing towards the Bifrost in a futile attempt to save the prince. Aftershocks quaked under her feet but did not lessen her pace.

An eerie silence filled the air in the aftermath. Onlookers began to crowd the entrance to the Bifrost, curious to see what caused the explosion. No signs of life were visible on the horizon, only the ruined bridge crashing down at the other end.

“No, no no no,” Sigyn gasped, pushing her way through the crowd. Her heart sank at the sight of Thor alone walking away from the ruined bridge.

“What...what's happened?” Sigyn asked once the prince was close enough to hear. He did not meet her eyes, but his anguished expression told her all she needed to know.

“Brother...” Thor trailed off, his voice uncharacteristically quiet. “He's...he let go.”

In her despair, she could not process his words. “Let _go_? From what?”

Thor shook his head, his eyes fixed on the ground. “From the Bifrost. He...he fell into the void. He's...dead.”

Sigyn stared at the prince in disbelief. “No,” she whispered.

At long last Thor met her eyes. “It is true, Sigyn.” Tears began streaming down his face. “We were both on the edge of the Bifrost... father woke in time to stop us both from.. He was holding onto Gungir...and then he let go before we could save him.”

“You _knew_...” Sigyn hissed, her voice dangerous as her wrath found a target. “You saw him let go! You could have saved him! And yet you did nothing!” She screamed now, lunging for Thor. “Nothing!”

Strong arms gripped her waist, pulled her back before she could attack the prince. Thor, for his part, did not refute her claims, nor make any move to defend himself though he easily could have overpowered her. He only stood, watching her, looking grief-stricken and guilty.

“Princess, no!” Volstagg's voice boomed behind her, and she knew it was he who held her back. “Loki tried to kill us. Thor was defending the kingdom from a traitor.”

“Traitor?” Sigyn kicked at Volstagg's shins, struggling in his grip. “You are all of you traitors, to treat your own prince with such disrespect! _Let go of me!_ ”

Yet Volstagg only tightened his grip, lifting her off her feet as she thrashed against him. A guttural wail burst from deep within her, as though she had been replaced by a cornered, feral animal. “You all did this! Your hands may not have pushed from off that bridge, but you might as well have!” Yet for all her rage at Thor and the warriors, in truth her words were not aimed at them, but at herself. Her vision, her worst fear, losing Loki to the Bifrost, came true, and she'd did nothing to stop it.

“Enough!” the Allfather boomed as he approached the group from what remained of the Bifrost. His tone was powerful enough to halt Sigyn's struggles in Volstagg's arms. “Enough of this madness, Sigyn. You are making a scene. Act properly.”

Volstagg released her as she settled at the king's command, but her legs failed her as she collapsed in a wave of grief. Loki. Gone. And she'd failed to stop it. Any will to stand on her own vanished at the knowledge that Loki was dead. More onlookers had gathered near the palace grounds, but she lost sight of their faces as tears clouded her vision before sobs burst through her body.

 

The next thing Sigyn knew she was carried back to her chambers, aware for the first time that they were now hers and hers alone. Her final words to Loki echoing in a cruel loop inside her head:

_I am ashamed to be your wife. I am ashamed to be your wife. I am ashamed to be your wife I am..._

The bang of Gungnir against the hard floor snapped Sigyn out of her reverie. She looked up to find the Allfather staring at her. The Queen sat by her side, a comforting arm on her shoulder and a pleading expression in her eyes.

“Have you nothing to say for yourself, girl?” The king snapped. “For your obscene display of hysteria this evening?”

Sigyn's throat, raw from sobbing, could produce little sound, though she had nothing to say to the king even if she could speak.

“Let her have her grief,” Frigga implored. “Is not our loss grave enough to forgive a few lapses of conduct?”

“I, too, grieve the loss of our son” Odin boomed, though no such sentiment crossed his face. “We are rulers. Our people look to us as beacons of strength, of dignity. A princess of Asgard cannot wail and shriek as she sees fit.” Now his disgusted gaze returned to Sigyn. “Mark my words. You are, for all intents and purposes, a part of the royal family. And at the funeral, you _will_ conduct yourself as such.”

“The funeral?” Frigga cut in, a stricken look on her face. “Is it so wise to have her there?”

“We are the royal family,” Odin retorted. “We must show all of Asgard we are as strong and united as ever.”

“Odin,” Frigga warned, her voice lowered to a near whisper. “Remember ... _Nanna_?” She cast a knowing side-long glance at Sigyn.

 _Nanna_. Sigyn had heard the name before, but only in quick, hushed tones. She'd never met the woman, but from what she'd gathered, Nanna was a well-loved noble woman who jumped onto her late husband's pyre as it set ablaze, preferring to die with him rather than live it without him. Though the incident occurred well before Sigyn arrived at the palace, the shock still reverberated though the halls to this day.

Until Frigga said the name, it hadn't occurred to Sigyn that _she_ could make a similar choice. Nor that she was thought capable of such an act.

Odin briefly softened at the gravity of the implication. “Keep an eye on her at all times. Bind her hands if you must, but the house of Odin will tolerate no further scandals.”

The king abruptly turned. His cape swung outward, catching the edge of Sigyn's nightstand. The force knocked the stand over and everything with it, including the teacup she'd left there earlier that morning.

The rose teacup.

Her favorite teacup.

The very first gift Loki had every brought her, well before they'd even started courting.

The teacup shattered on impact, scattering shards over the floor. Odin scarcely seemed to take notice of the mess while Sigyn lept to her feet.

“You broke it!” she cried, cowering over the ruined porcelain. Her hands trembled as she desperately tried to gather the broken pieces. The shards pierced her hands here and there, dotting her skin with droplets of blood.

Odin glowered at Sigyn's figure on the floor. Instinctively she circled her arms over the broken cup as though she could still protect it from the king's anger. “Send a servant in to deal with the mess.”

“No.” Sigyn shielded the cup from view, sweeping the pieces away from anyone who might try to take them. “I...I will deal with it. Just leave me be.”

*

The funeral happened a short time after. Sigyn watched as the skiff caught fire and exploded into stardust from the window of her chambers, with two guards at her side. From her view she could not see the expressions on the mourners' faces, though they were not gathered in large crowds. Many, she supposed, held no affection for the fallen prince in life and now thought him a lowly traitor. Those who did gather, she suspected, did so to honor the king and queen more so than the dead prince. There was no body, so they'd filled the small boat with his daggers, a cape, and a replica of his helmet. She would not part with anything else of his.

The healers kept her on a powerful concoction of herbs that left her in long hours of dreamless sleep, and in a lifeless daze when she woke to find herself in a world without him. She remained clad in an old under tunic of Loki's, refusing to change out of it, her fingers bound with thick bandages to stop her tearing at her clothes, her hair, her skin. She scarcely ate, for food tasted of ash in her mouth. She did little aside from stare at the empty space across from her on the bed. For what else was there outside these chamber walls? She did not care to see the half-suspicious, half-pitying looks from the court, nor hear the insincere condolences and whispers as she passed the halls.

“Loki...I...I didn't meant it. I didn't mean what I said,” she whispered now, staring at the space before her as though she could conjure him back. “You...you could have told me. I...I would have loved you no less knowing the truth.” Tears would have welled in her eyes had she not dried them out from days of endless sobbing. Still, the yearning in her heart remained, so strong was her desire to hold him once more. He was, and would always be, her prince. Her husband. Her mentor. Her best friend. The love of her life. Her Loki. Learning his true heritage changed none of that.

She'd never imagined she'd lose Loki by his own hand. 

For all her love, she could not stop his pain. She could not stop his descent into madness when he'd learned the truth. She could not even prevent the fate she'd seen coming. 

 _I am useless_ , Sigyn thought.  _Why curse me with such visions of fates I cannot change?_ What _good are my gifts if I have let down the one soul I cherished above all others?_

Her bound fingers grazed along something hard and metallic caught beneath the pillows. She pried beneath the heavy sheets until she grasped the gold key with small snakes around its design. One of the three Loki had presented to her the night he'd asked for her hand. Her mind flashed back his words as he explained the powers with which he'd imbued it:

_If the person bearing this key should find themselves in need of me, wishes for me to find them, they only need to press the key over their heart, close their eyes, and think of me. And I will hear their message._

She studied the key. In all their time together, she'd never had to use its magical properties. And now that she needed him, he was dead. He would not hear her now. He would not be coming back to her, whether the key worked or not.

Still, she had nothing left to lose.

She pressed the key against her heart, closing her eyes as an image of Loki appeared in her mind. “My Loki...” she began, fresh tears appearing at last in her eyes. “I'm sorry. I miss you...please return to me..” The gold key thrummed and shimmed with her magic as she spoke. As she opened her eyes, her magic absorbed into the key before vanishing.

She remained alone, eyes bloodshot, hands bandaged, clad in a dirty tunic, desperate for a key of all things to provide solace. She shook her head at the sheer absurdity of her hopes. He was gone. He'd let go of Gungnir and plunged into the void. He'd wanted to perish. And he was lost to her forever.

She sighed, setting the key by the nightstand. Her last thread of hope vanished.

Just as she'd turned away from the key, a glimmer of green light caught her eye. Her eyes widened as the key briefly glowed a deep green color before the magic faded back into the metal. Her hand shook as she brought it to her mouth in shock.

_Loki._

 


End file.
